Thursday, November 30, 2023

Worst New Brand Name of 2023: “Solventum”, 3M’s $8 Billion Healthcare Spinoff

An $8 billion healthcare spinoff gets a caustic new name:

The brand naming brief must have called for a cold, distant, uncaring, inhuman, faceless megacorp, dark void vibe. A bold choice for a healthcare company.

3M explains the meaningless name because otherwise, you’d only have its toxic personality to go on: “The name of the company is a combination of “solving” and “momentum,” according to Bryan Hanson, chief executive officer of 3M Health Care Business Group.”

“Solving” and “momentum” are concepts so generic that any company, from Ford to Zoom, would sign off on them – they aren’t specific to the new company. They are no more exciting or distinctive than “growth” + “solution” = Grolution, or “triumph” + “succeed” = Triceed. Or “solvent” + “um” = Solventum.

Landor used to be the go-to agency for lifeless constructions like this, having named Ilimity, Enactus, Magotan, and Centravis, but another agency has filched their manky crown. When a naming or branding agency sells a client on a name by smushing together generic terms that create a negative asset, that process is called The Happy Idiot.

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